 |
| El Conquistador |
Occasionally, one will get so frustrated that she'll say something like, "El Conquistador, maybe you've noticed, or maybe you're stupid, but I really like you. Are you interested or not." (I know that was a question and should end with a question mark, but the way they always say it sounds more like a period-terminated sentence.)
And then I laugh and say something like, "I haven't given it much thought, to be honest. I've always thought of you as a friend... but you shouldn't feel bad. This happens all the time." And then I laugh some more (because I think I'm hilarious), and she experiences major cognitive dissonance because even though I just told her I wasn't interested, she can't help but think I was cute while I was doing it.
A few weeks ago, I got a text from a girl that said something like, "Jeff, you should ask me out. But don't do it if you're not interested. I'm done playing the game, so if you don't want to just tell me and we can be friends."
First of all, she's a liar. Everyone knows that it's nearly impossible to "just be friends" after a girl goes out on a limb to tell you she's interested and you climb up the tree and chainsaw the limb off while she's still on it.
Second of all... I said Ok.
So we planned a date for Tuesday night. I wan't particularly interested, but I wanted to get to know her better and thought it would be fun to take her out.
Tuesday rolls around and like four hours before the date, I find out I have to be at a meeting. Have to. One of those meetings. So I texted her these words:
Me: Hey Jen, I have a super mandatory meeting tonight for my calling - we're going to have to reschedule
I was kind of expecting her to respond something like, "Ok" or, "Sounds good" but instead she didn't text back at all.
So about a week later I sent her a text to follow up and this rather entertaining conversation happened:
Me: Jen, where'd you disappear to?
Her: Really?
Me: Yeah
Her: I don't know what u r talking about
Me: Well I don't know what you're talking about. Actually I'm not talking about anything, I asked you a question
Her: It was a weird question.
Me: Ok... So are you going to answer it?
Her: How can i if i dont even know what u r talking abt?
Me: Ok, this isn't going anywhere. How's life?
Her: Fine, busy hows urs?
(I fell asleep)
Her: Well for being so demanding that i answer ur quesiotn ur not very good at answering mine...
Me: Ha ha ha sorry. Life rocks! Where do you live now?
(Blah blah blah small talk small talk, then this)
Her: Yesterday i didnt undertand why 8 days after blowing me off you were A. Bothering to text me, B. Asking y I disappeared, when u were the one that vanished tues. & C. Just candidly think that everything is dandy when the last text i had recieved was not nice.
(Here it comes!!!)
Her: Can i talk w/ u face to face? I just really need to get some stuff cleared up.
Whoa. This is crazy. Seriously, you should have been there. We set a time to talk and then the really good stuff started. I'll write a different post about it soon, because one piece of it is hilarious.
But how crazy that after I'm trying to be a nice guy, asking her out, trying to reschedule instead of just blowing her off, and continuing to talk to her even though sometimes it feels like someone's giving me a sponge bath with steel wool, she's so unhappy?!
So I think we have three options for the moral of this story:
- Never ask out girls that ask you to ask them out
- If you wind up with a schedule conflict, just disappear instead of trying to work out a different time
- Hakuna matata
Personally, I like number three.
not that her response wasn't abrasive...
ReplyDeletebut if you had asked her if a specific time/date would work in the future instead of just saying you'd have to reschedule, things might have gone differently. or maybe you should have just called. texting causes so many problems.
...but meeting in person to talk about it? crazytown.